Tue. May 21st, 2024

Don’t judge me harshly for my confession. Perhaps I am a bad mother for raising a son who does not want to communicate with me. But I would still like to hear good advice from those who have the same problems with their adult children.

I am 61 years old and my only son is 30. I am married for the second time, meaning my husband is my son’s stepfather. My son has been married for 7 years and his daughter is soon one year old. We live next door to each other, in the house next door.

Communication has practically broken off a little more than a year ago. I feel that my son has a grudge against me for something, but I don’t know what it is, and all my attempts to find out (including through my daughter-in-law) have gotten me nowhere.

My son grew up a very sickly boy, there were many other problems with him, but my relationship with him has always been close. I brought him up practically alone, because my stepfather was a soft and kind man, he did not interfere in his upbringing, once he heard “you are not my father”.

I had to be both mother and father – what could I do? There have been some not-so-good friends, the dangers of drugs. I’m not saying I’m a perfect mother, but I tried my best.

The relationship soured abruptly when I asked him for help with the computer. I have to say that it wasn’t the first time I had asked, and it seemed like a lot for him. He didn’t say anything, just got up and left with his wife without taking the pies I had baked.

He hasn’t spoken to me since. He goes abroad and does not tell me about it. We communicate with my granddaughter only through my daughter-in-law, who answers all my questions: “You’ll have to deal with him on your own.

I am trying not to be offended, I pray, I call and write, but there is no answer. I do not know what to do. I tried to leave my son alone, but it only lead to complete alienation. How to get through to his heart?

I myself was kind of a good daughter, took care of my mom until her death, loved her very much, my son helped me in this.

I would be very grateful for advice.

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)