An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communication with a small twin-engine aircraft. A moment later the tower landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone. He yelled, “Mayday, mayday!! The pilot had an instant and fatal heart attack. I grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and he had told me before we took off he had the tower on his speed dial memory. I am flying upside.
The employee in the tower immediately put him on speakerphone.
“Calm down, we acknowledge you and we’ll guide you down after a few questions. The first thing is not to panic, remain calm!”
He then began his series of questions:
Tower: “How do you know you are traveling at 18,000 feet??”
Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 18,000 feet on the Altimeter dial in front of me.”
Tower: “Okay, that’s good, remain calm. How do you know you’re traveling at 180 mph?”
Aircraft: “I can see that it reads 180 mph on the Airspeed dial in front of me.”
Tower: “Okay, this is great so far, but it’s heavily overcast, so how do you know you’re flying upside down?”
Aircraft: “The shit in my pants is running out of my shirt collar.”