Thu. May 30th, 2024

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good
food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California , and mine is in
Texas..

3. I take my wife everywhere….but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. ‘Somewhere I
haven’t been in a long time!’ she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said ‘There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!’ So I bought
her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, ‘In the lake.’

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, ‘Am I too late for the
garbage?’
The driver said, ‘No, jump in!’

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, ‘What’s on the TV?’ I
said, ‘Dust!’